


Warriors: The Dark Age

by kirani100



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Adventure, Angst, Betrayal, Black and Gray Morality, Canon-Typical Violence, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Drama, Erin Hunter, F/F, F/M, Famine - Freeform, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, LGBTQ, M/M, Multi, Original Character(s), Redemption, RiverClan (Warriors), Romance, Tragedy, War, code of the clans, how do i even tag, incomplete warrior code, original forest territory, post-DotC, pre-mapleshade's venegance, primitive clans, warriors - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2019-10-21 14:10:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17644322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirani100/pseuds/kirani100
Summary: The Clans were eager to erase us from history—A generation from a time when the Warrior code was new and flawed, who found glory in killing and pride in cruelty. They still tell legends of how StarClan formed, but they don't remember how the Dark Forest awakened. It was buried along with us.





	1. Chapter 1

_Lizardpaw came awake with a_ _single lurid though; he was dying._  His lungs burned, his throat closed. Pain seized him with a cruel grip and the taste of blood flooded his mouth. " _Help,"_ He tried, yet nothing but a strangled sob escaped his throat.

_I can't breathe!_

Panic filled him. Where was he? What was happening? He thrashed, fighting to get up.

"Hold him down!" He heard a voice yell above him, and felt a weight come down on him.

He cried out in agony. Everything hurt all at once. He felt the sting of fresh cuts, the ache of deep bruises. But most of all he felt a white-hot flash of pain between the side of his ribs with every desperate attempt for air.

"Shh," The voice soothed, soft and feminine. "Slow down."

He coughed, feeling warm liquid trickle from his mouth and nostrils. His eyes bulged with fear but he could see nothing at all. Just a stifling darkness.

"He's choking on his own blood." Another voice hissed, this one young and shrill with fear.

"Raise his head."

His body went limp as his head was placed on something soft like a heap of heather. He felt the pressure in his chest ease slowly, and the thick liquid in his throat drain downward. A fresh wave of adrenaline gave him the strength to drag an agonizing inhale through his lungs and open his eyes.

"Don't move." Said the first voice, hard and commanding this time. The blackness in his dark green gaze cleared, and he was met by a pale gray tabby she cat with fur that curled at the ends, not unlike her ears, that curled back roundly unto themselves.

A stone of dread sank into Lizardpaw's stomach.

 _Sheepleap._   _WindClan's medicine cat,_ his mind instantly supplied.

Memories began flooding back in.  _Ear-splitting screeches and wails ripping through the air. Blood spraying on moorland grass. Fur flying like thistledown. Claws sinking into flesh._

He'd been trapped, his hind claws gripping the edge of a rocky overhang. Behind him, the moor ended with a cliff. In front, a WindClan stalked closer. There had been no one to help him. He remembered fighting with all he had, but it wasn't the same as it used to be when he could see properly. Her movements were a blur, and he struggled to react quickly enough.

But he could do nothing but take blow after blow. He knew when to go limp and roll with the force of the impact, how to twist and writhe away from the prickle of claws before they pierced must have been frustrated that a young apprentice was proving so challenging to subdue.

In the end he couldn't get back up. He lay gasping among the stained, trampled grass. He thought he heard her walk away, but the last thing he remembers is being pushed off the ledge.

_Piece of crowfood rabbit-chasers._

He lay at the bottom thinking, sobbing with fear, pain and anger

_At least have the decency to finish me off!_

He snapped back to the present, lashing out with outstretched claws and a long, threatening hiss. "Get away from me!"

Sheepleap stepped out of reach. Her eyes became glittering slits of amber. "I'm trying to help you."

"And hedgehogs fly." He growled deeply, trying to ignore the throbbing the pain between his ribs.

"Why would we lie?" The other voice said. Lizardpaw's glare switched to a pale golden-brown tabby tom with bright yellow eyes.

_Must be Ryepaw, her apprentice._

The three cats were silent as they regarded each other with hostility, eyes narrowed with wariness, backs arched with hostility and tails twitching with anticipation. Finally Sheepleap broke the silence.

"You fell a long way down," She explained carefully. "You're bleeding from the inside out, you need my help."

Lizardpaw fell silent. She edged closer cautiously and Lizardpaw pulled his lips back in a snarl, revealing a pair of remarkably long, menacing fangs.

"You have no reason to help me." He said. "I'm an enemy, I could have hurt your Clanmates today."

"Says that cat who got scraped off the floor." Ryepaw scoffed.

Lizardpaw surged around to face Ryepaw, eyes dark with fury.  _Puny little tom._  A breeze could knock him over, let alone one of Lizardpaw's wide-pawed blows. He was older, but Lizardpaw was easily twice his size, all shoulders and hard muscle against thin, stringy bones.

Ryepaw flinched, and Lizardpaw was satisfied to smell fear.

"Enough," Sheepleap said calmly. The medicine cat seemed to have smoothed down her pelt, her features softening. "We can do it the easy way, or there will be another option." She flicked her tail toward the shadowed end of the den, where a green pair of eyes were quietly surveying the situation.

"This is Harrierwing," Sheepleap beckoned and a brindled warrior stepped forward. She was thin, but hard muscle rippled beneath her wiry, scar-crossed pelt. Silver hairs speckled her muzzle, and her gaze was calculated. She padded up to Sheepleap, sitting upright with her tail neatly placed on her paws.

"I'll be in charge of guarding you." Harrierwing announced with a deep, hoarse mew. "And if you don't lay down, I'll lay you down."

Lizardpaw felt the fur on his shoulders rise, his jaw tightening with anger. He felt helpless. He couldn't put up another fight if he tried. He was near his limit with the pain on his side—broken ribs?—and with the adrenaline draining from his legs he was starting to feel dizzy, shadows clustering around his eyes. Wordlessly he lay back down, wary eyes never leaving the enemy.

Sheepleap breathed out with relief. "You'll need to eat these." She pushed a leaf toward him where four small black seeds lay. "They'll help you fall back asleep."

"What?" Lizardpaw spat. "How fish-brained do you think I am—"

Harrierwing growled beside Sheepleap, and Lizardpaw choked back whatever else he might have said. Anxiety rolled in his stomach like minnows chasing each other, but he lapped up the seeds.

Soon enough, darkness engulfed him once again, and the pain ebbed away along with his consciousness.

* * *

_Warrior Cats belongs to Erin Hunter_

_Inspired by The Forest Awakens, FH RP_

_I'd love to hear your thoughts in the reviews! Enjoy!_

* * *

**ALLEGIANCES**

**RIVERCLAN**

**LEADER**

**CRANESTAR** —light gray tom with amber eyes

**DEPUTY**

**MISTCLAW** —long-furred pale gray tabby tom with blue eyes and white underbelly

APPRENTICE,  **SWANPAW**  (handsome, pure white tom with blue eyes and long fur)

**MEDICINE CAT**

**PlOVERLEAF** —small grey-brown and white she-cat with amber eyes

**WARRIORS**

**EELTAIL** —sleek dark brown she-cat with white underbelly and yellow-green eyes

APPRENTICE,  **FOGPAW** (pretty silver and white tabby she-cat with pale blue eyes)

 **MUDSTREAM** —sleek dark brown tom with yellow-green eyes

APPRENTICE,  **LIZARDPAW**  (dark brown tabby tom with white chest and dark green eyes)

 **REEDSHINE** —golden-brown tom with amber eyes

 **DEWBROOK** —silver tom with pale blue eyes

 **CURLEWPETAL** —light brown tabby she-cat with black paws

APPRENTICE,  **SILVERPAW**  (dark silver she-cat with brown-speckled green eyes)

 **STORKPELT** —long-furred white tom with gray stripes

 **WILLOWTOOTH** —pale gray mottled she-cat

 **MINNOWSPLASH** —brown she-cat with pale brown underbelly and a large patch of white fur

 **EGRETCLOUD** —cream and pale reddish-brown she-cat with yellow-green eyes

 **FLAMEPOOL** —pretty white she-cat with ginger tabby patches and mismatched blue and green eyes

**QUEENS**

**BUZZARDFACE** —battle-scarred dark brown tabby she-cat with dark green eyes and broad shoulders (nursing Rainkit)

 **MOSSCREEK** —tortoiseshell she-cat (permanent queen)

**ELDERS**

**TURTLESNAP** —tabby calico she-cat with green eyes

 **PALEWATER** —white tom with light gray paws

 **SLUGCLAW** —golden-brown she-cat with ginger chest

 **MALLOWMIST** —blue-gray tom with milky white eyes

**WINDCLAN**

**LEADER**

**SWIFTSTAR** —small gray-brown tom with creamy brown underbelly

**DEPUTY**

**GRASSBREEZE** —light brown she-cat with long tabby stripes and pale green eyes

**MEDICINE CAT**

**SHEEPLEAP** —white she-cat with gray tabby patches and curly fur

APPRENTICE **, RYEPAW**  (pale golden-brown tabby tom with yellow eyes)

**WARRIORS**

**HARRIERWING** —brindled she-cat with white speckles and gray muzzle

 **HEATHERTUFT** —pale ginger tom with long tufts of fur

APPRENTICE,  **LINNETPAW**  (gray-brown she-cat with dark tawny patches)

 **WEASELPELT** —creamy brown tom with white paws and belly

 **WOOLLYBIRD** —soft-furred white she-cat with light gray freckles

 **SPOTTEDFLIGHT** —white tom with black spots and yellow eyes

APPRENTICE,  **BRAMBLINGPAW**  (brown tabby tom with tawny chest)

 **BEESTORM** —golden tabby she-cat with amber eyes

 **CRICKETHOP** —gray tom with green eyes

 **WARBLERSONG** —very pale brown tom with light gray, almost white underbelly

 **TULIPCLOUD** —red tabby she-cat with blue eyes and white paws

**QUEENS**

**OATWHISKER** —cream she-cat with dark amber eyes (expecting)

**ELDERS**

**RUNNINGHARE** —gray-brown tom with white speckles

**SHADOWCLAN**

**LEADER**

**SMOKESTAR** —huge dark gray, almost black tom with dark amber eyes

**DEPUTY**

**DUSKFROST** —dark red-brown tom with icy blue eyes

**MEDICINE CAT**

**CLOVERSTEP** —pale calico she-cat with light green eyes

**WARRIORS**

**ROOKSHADE** —sleek black she-cat with green eyes

APPRENTICE,  **RATPAW**  (ticked brown tabby she-cat with blue eyes)

 **SCORCHJAW** —gray tom with black muzzle

 **TALLCROW** —black and white tom

 **BLACKFLOWER** —long-furred black she-cat with amber eyes

 **BATSHADOW** —very dark brown she-cat with long fur

 **TORNFOOT** —dark ginger tom with horribly scarred forepaw

APPRENTICE,  **SPIDERPAW**  (dark brown she-cat with black patches)

 **SNAKETAIL** —white tom with a long brown tabby tail

APPRENTICE,  **NIGHTPAW**  (black tabby she-cat with piercing green eyes)

 **MARTENSKIP** —brown she-cat with creamy brown underbelly and white jaw

 **BADGERSTRIPE** —black tom with white paws and odd white stripe on his muzzle

 **BEETLEBELLY** —dark blue-gray she-cat with pale underbelly

**QUEENS**

**JUNIPERNOSE** —blue-gray tabby she-cat with blue eyes (nursing Pinekit, Sloekit and Elmkit)

**ELDERS**

**ADDERFLASH** —golden-brown tabby she-cat

 **PIGEONFEATHER** —creamy gray-brown tom

**SKYCLAN**

**LEADER**

**EAGLESTAR** —dark brown tom with white muzzle and amber eyes

**DEPUTY**

**TEASELBLAZE** —large white she-cat with dark brown tabby patches

**MEDICINE CAT**

**YEWTHORN** —reddish-brown tom with black stripes

**WARRIORS**

**JAYSTRIKE** —gray tabby she-cat with blue eyes

APPRENTICE,  **ROBINPAW**  (dark gray tortie she-cat with russet chest)

 **SHRIKE** —gray tom with white underbelly and black patches

 **WHITEPOPPY** —white tom with russet patches and green eyes

 **STONESKY** —solid gray tom with blue eyes

 **HORNETFALL** —dark ginger tabby tom

APPRENTICE,  **WRENPAW**  (tiny light brown she-cat)

 **SAPWHISKER** —golden-brown she-cat with amber eyes

APPRENTICE,  **CYPRESSPAW**  (red-brown tabby tom)

 **YARROWFLAME** —gold tom with pale muzzle

**QUEENS**

**FINCHFERN** —brown she-cat with red-brown stripes (expecting)

**ELDERS**

**HICKORYLEG** —dark brown tabby tom with a twisted leg

 **BRIGHTFIRE** —bright ginger she-cat

**THUNDERCLAN**

**LEADER**

**DOESTAR** —cream she-cat with brown dapples and pale blue eyes

**DEPUTY**

**THORNTALON** —light brown tom with dark dapples and green eyes

**MEDICINE CAT**

**THICKETBERRY** —red-brown tom with dark dapples and pale blue eyes

APPRENTICE,  **DAISYPAW**  (white-and-grey tom with amber eyes)

**WARRIORS**

**FOXFUR** —dark ginger tom with with white muzzle

 **POPPYPELT** —russet she-cat with yellow-green eyes

APPRENTICE,  **ANTPAW**  (red-brown tom with white tail tip)

 **SHREWSTRIDE** —gray-brown ticked tom with copper eyes

APPRENTICE, **ACORNPAW** (brown she-cat with ginger patches)

 **APPLEBLOSSOM** —bright ginger she-cat with reddish stripes

 **OAKEYE** —brown tom with one green eye

 **DARKTHISTLE** —dark gray tabby tom with spiky fur

APPRENTICE,  **TANSYPAW**  (yellow tabby she-cat)

 **MOLEDUSK** —dark brown tom

APPRENTICE,  **MARIGOLDPAW** (ginger she-cat with white paws)

**QUEENS**

**SQUIRRELEAR** —gray she-cat with black ears (Nursing Burrkit and Webkit)

**ELDERS**

**FAWNSPECKLE** —pale brown she-cat with white dapples


	2. Chapter 2

_Bitter cold wind howled as it rolled down the moor, sending ripples across the stiff, frozen heather._  It was the darkest of nights. Heavy clouds flitted in front a thin claw moon, blackening the sky.

The scent of RiverClan soured the breeze as Harrierwing charged ahead, skimming across the tussocks. Her Clanmates hared past her, sailing fast and high before landing skillfully and racing on without missing a paw step.

_Moor runners._

She thought.

_No point in trying to keep up._

They slowed to a halt by Grassbreeze, the deputy, and dipped their heads. Harrierwing angled her ears to hear the conversation, her breath forming clouds around her muzzle.

"...toward Fourtrees, make sure they're gone. But don't cross the new scent line. I'm not sure we could defend ourselves again…" The deputy sighed.

Harrierwing glanced around, watching her Clanmates limp to each other, tenderly checking for wounds. The battle had finally ended.

A thick, black anger roiled in her stomach as she thought of those fox-hearted fish-furs. If it they hadn't been hiding in the tunnels, RiverClan would have taken them by surprise again. Half a moon ago they stopped thinking they were safe.

When leaf-bare came too soon and too harsh, and the river froze moons before it ever had, SkyClan agreed to share their bordering territory with RiverClan when they begged for help. That should have been enough for them. For anyone.

"No fatal injuries this time." Sheepleap, the medicine cat, spoke with a hollow voice, her eyes glazed over from exhaustion.

Swiftstar sat next to her, his tail draped over her shoulders with sympathy.

"Hey!"

Harrierwing swallowed an involuntary purr. A red tabby she-cat was bounding to her side, brushing up under her chin with her head. "Are you okay?" Bright blue eyes blinked up at her.

"I'm fine Tulipcloud." Pride welled in Harrierwing's chest. Tulipcloud had still been her apprentice only a few sunrises ago. She had proved herself in battle during a time when her Clan needed her most. "But you have a nasty bite here." Harrierwing nosed at Tulipcloud's shoulder, where a deep wound crusted her fur with dried blood.

Tulipcloud's gave a  _mrrow_ of embarrassment. "Sheepleap stopped the bleeding, it'll be fine." With a little skip she hurried off again, seeing where she was needed.

Distress flared beneath Harrierwing's pelt. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been that eager. She'd lived through more battles and fought more wars than most of her Clanmates could claim. Soon she started to feel nothing but weariness. She padded along her the red-stained, trampled grass, feeling the sting of frost in the air.

_Is it too soon to join Runninghare in the elder's den?_

Immediately she recoiled with revulsion at the thought.

_No. I'm old, not crippled._

She halted, frowning to herself. She'd made her way up a slope without realizing it, coming to a rocky overhang. There were signs of struggle all around her. Claws scored the layer of frost on the ground and tufts of fur lay scattered. Her eyes followed a long smear of fresh blood to the edge of the overhang and her throat seized up.

She scrambled to the edge and leaned in, dread hollowing her stomach as she glimpsed the battered, ragged shape of a tabby cat at the bottom.

"Weaselpelt!" yowled Harrierwing. The brown tom was pacing at the bottom of the slope behind her. His head jerked up, ears perked. "Someone fell off the ledge, get Sheepleap!"

Weaselpelt gave a sharp nod before plunging into the heather.

Harrierwing rushed down to the injured cat.

 _Oh StarClan, don't let it be Bramblingpaw. He's hardly four moons old_.

A lump settled in her throat once she reached the bottom, but it was easy to see now, as the dust settled.

It was a  _RiverClan_  apprentice.

Her shoulders sagged with relief.

"Harrierwing? Who is it?" Pebbles clattered as Sheepleap slid down the steep wall of the rocky overhang. Several others had followed her, unable to resist curiosity.

"It's a fish-fur!" Spottedflight said, lip curled with disgust.

"The one I fought." Tulipcloud gasped. "But I didn't push him off!"

"Alright, move." Sheepleap said with an uncharacteristic grunt of impatience and shouldered past the onlookers. She ran her paws carefully along the apprentice's spine, and he let out a small, pained groan.

_He was still alive!_

"StarClan's kits!" Heathertuft's eyes widened. "He's the spitting image of her!"

"Who?"

"Buzzardface."

"It must be her son!"

Harrierwind blinked, looking curiously at the tabby. Sure enough, the resemblance was undeniable. Broad, powerful shoulders and wide chest. He had a dark, striped brown pelt and long fangs peeked from under his closed mouth.

_She'd want vengeance._

Harrierwing's pelt prickled with unease. Buzzardface was known among all Clans for her ruthlessness in battle. Even ShadowClan warriors trod carefully around her.

The tom gave a sharp cry as Sheepleap tried to shift him.

"Lets finish him off." Spottedflight growled, hatred glimmering in his yellow eyes.

"But he's just an apprentice!"

"He'll be a warrior eventually. Better rid of him now."

It left a bitter taste in her mouth, but Harrierwing agreed, flexing her claws in anticipation.

"None of that." Swiftstar's voice carried above the argument as he padded toward Sheepleap. A hush fell upon the small crowd. "Sheepleap, can you save him?" He said.

Sheepleap looked uncertain. "I'd like to take a closer look at his wounds in my den. It seems okay to move him."

"Very well," Swiftstar nodded. "Weaselpelt and Heathertuft can carry him."

A ripple of hisses spread through the gathered cats, disapproval shining in their eyes.

Swiftstar opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by a small squeak.

"We captured a hostage!" Bramblingpaw sprang forward, quivering with excitement. "Ohh I can't wait to tell Linnetpaw about this."

"Don't speak over your leader." Spottedflight silenced his apprentice with a smack of a tail over his muzzle.

Harrierwing's whiskers twitched with amusement, and she spared a moment to inspect Bramblingpaw. The tiny apprentice still had kitten fluff clinging to the back of his ears, and she was deeply relieved to see him unharmed. Him and his sister were her last living kin; Kits of her son, who had died in battle.

"If he lives we'll have leverage against RiverClan." Swiftstar said. "I'd like you to keep an eye on him, Harrierwing."

Harrierwing fought a scowl of annoyance. It seemed like a task best suited for the younger warriors, but she dipped her head obediently.

She brushed past her Clanmates and trekked next to Sheepleap, glad to be out of the battlefield with it's reek of blood and fear. Soon, the sandy dip of their camp loomed ahead of them, surrounded by a tangle of gorse. Faint moonlight drifted between the clouds now, revealing a lonely, desolate camp.

They strode past it, heading for the hills instead.

"I'll take this entrance, Sheepleap." Harrierwing paused beside what looked like a rabbit's burrow. "You go ahead."

Sheepleap nodded, and Harrierwing confidently dove down into the small hole.

She came out on the other side to a wide, well-shored tunnel that her tunnelers had dug for leaf-bare seasons. Darkness swamped around her, but she felt no fear.

She followed her whiskers further in, occasionally pawing the walls lightly to pack the earth. The airflow increased and the tunnel opened to a wider chamber; A camp built underneath a tall hill. Faint light shone from the well-hidden opening in the side of the wall; a thin crack exposed directly to the moor. Multiple dens were carved out of the walls of the chamber as well as tunnels leading out to different places on the moor.

It was only a temporary home, used during the harshest of weather and attacks by enemies, but Harrierwing had always felt more at home surrounded by the peaty smell of earth.

She ignored the curious glances of her Clanmates and slid into Sheepleap's den. Her eyes took a moment to adjust to the brighter light there. There was a large fissure in the roof to allow for silverpelt to shine through.

A small whimper caught her attention and she felt a trace of pity for the RiverClan apprentice. He might seem big, but Harrierwing could guess the tabby tom was young, perhaps six moons, and very hurt. With all the dust and dried blood washed away it was hard to see how he'd survived at all. One of his sides was heavily battered, and a huge gash opened the skin from his muzzle to his ear, missing his eye by a stroke of luck.

He had a grimace of pain, chest heaving with the struggle to breathe.

"Come in." Sheepleap's usual soft mew was sharp and tense.

Harrierwing wondered if she ought to help, but as soon as the thought occurred the apprentice began to shake violently. Wet coughs of blood racked him, and Harrierwing thought she was watching him die. A strange sense of worry and relief filled her.

_That could have been Bramblingpaw. Thank you StarClan for watching over him._

"Hold him down!" Sheepleap yowled to her apprentice, Ryepaw.

Harrierwing watched them struggle until the apprentice calmed down. When he opened his eyes, a bud of admiration swelled in her.

_StarClan themselves couldn't keep him dead if they tried._

His eyes were dark with anger and a furious will to live.


	3. Chapter 3

_Swanpaw had been there to watch_  Lizardpaw get struck down. Thick, red scarlet seeped from his brow, soaking into his long white fur. He blinked droplets of blood from his lashes, facing his opponent with piercing ice-blue eyes.

Swanpaw felt something then. Powerful,  _capable._ His trained muscles rolled beneath his pelt. His paws were sure and his claws were ready. He longed with every hair on his pelt to  _fight_.

He would plant the light of fear in his enemy's eyes, and with Mistclaw fighting beside him—his father, mentor and deputy—he'd sooner die than prove to be a disappointment. For once, everything was going right.

Everything was going right because when he looked to his right he could see Lizardpaw struggle pathetically against a small red tabby. Ohh and he struggled mightily. No amount of blows would keep him down.

_Fool._

The corners of Swanpaw's mouth quirked up. He knew he shouldn't feel this way. He shouldn't smile in triumph as he watched his denmate get hurt. But could you blame him? Swanpaw was kin of Cranestar.

He was to be RiverClan's next leader.

But the day that little piece of crowfood had shown up, the whole Clan began to doubt him.

The great, talented Lizardpaw, son of Buzzardface—younger, stronger, brighter,  _better_ than him. Perhaps Swanpaw wasn't good enough for leadership, they thought. Egretcloud was quickly becoming Cranestar's favorite candidate, despite her blood being so distant and tainted.

But Lizardpaw was now being tossed around like a bit of prey. He remembered the day it all changed with a vivid freshness.

Swanpaw's warrior ancestors had been walking his dreams since he was a kit. They had  _chosen_ him and wanted to be sure that he would be ready to lead. The training was grueling, but even then he'd never managed to overpower Lizardpaw.

 _"Swanpaw_ _, before you go,"_ his StarClan mentor, said to him one night.  _"Soon you won't have to worry about_ _that apprentice_ _anymore."_

The next morning Swanpaw beat Lizardpaw in battle training.

Swanpaw heard whispers from the medicine cat den that it had something to do with his eyesight. He couldn't see clearly anymore. He couldn't dodge or strike fast enough. He couldn't fish properly either. His proud RiverClan reflexes were gone.

"—paw, Swanpaw!"

Swanpaw started. He realized his stare had gone absent as he gazed at Lizardpaw, now rolling and rolling in a screeching tangle of fur and claws with the red tabby.

"Swanpaw!" Mistclaw yelled at him again, still grappling with the tom they'd been fighting together. "I'll deal with this one, go help Lizardpaw."

"But—"

" _N_ _ow_ _!_ "

Swanpaw whipped around obediently, hurtling through a landscape that seethed with knots of tussling cats. Moonlight shone on wet, bloodied pelts of all colors and patterns, and glinted on sharp teeth and claws. Shrieks of pain and fury split the frozen, howling wind that whipped fiercely as if it ached to join the battle.

Swanpaw labored up a steep slope where, at the top, Lizardpaw was being raked down his belly fur. Swanpaw suppressed a yowl of fury as Lizardpaw tried to get back up.

_Stay down you stubborn fish-brain! You'll get yourself killed!_

For the first time Swanpaw felt a twinge of worry, and decided it would be best to step in. He'd have to approach carefully, noting the ground stop abruptly less than a tail-length from where Lizardpaw lay.

He stood up just as Lizardpaw failed to get up. The once proud tom lay with eyes shut, breaths fast and shallow.

The red tabby she-cat turned around, too pleased with herself to notice Swanpaw hiding in the heather. She limped down the slope toward him and he tensed his muscles, a thrill of anticipation creeping through him.

Lizardpaw actually managed to wound her,  _she'll be easy pickings!_

She was nearly within leaping distance when a familiar white pelt flashed in the corner of Swanpaw's eye. The distraction cost him. The WindClan she-cat whisked past him before he could leap. Swanpaw gritted his teeth with frustration.

"Fish-dung!"

Furiously he turned to see what had distracted him.

The anger in his eyes melted away to confusion.

"Hailstorm?"

Swanpaw breathed out in awe. At the top of the slope, next to Lizardpaw, stood a pure white cat, almost shining against a backdrop of black night. A faint glow shone from within his pelt and he seemed to be almost floating, his paws glimmering with starlight. Swanpaw had never seen him outside his dreams, where they would train together.

Hailstorm turned to face him impassively.

Swanpaw felt himself smile.

_Did he come to watch over me?_

Then Hailstorm placed a paw on his Lizardpaw's shoulder, and Swanpaw's smile faded. The sounds of battle gave away to the rush of blood in his ears, and his eyes stretched wide with horror as he realized what was about to happen.

"NO!"

With one push Hailstorm rolled Lizardpaw's limp body off the ledge, and in the blink of an eye, the StarClan warrior was gone.

A cold wave of shock hit Swanpaw as he stood there, watching the empty ledge.

Then the ringing in his ears subsided, and the shrieking of cats pierced back in. Panic rushed into every one of Swanpaw's veins as he scrambled quickly up the slope, leaning dangerously off the ledge.

"Oh no," Horror tinged Swanpaw's breathless whisper. "No no no, this can't be happening."

Lizardpaw lay a long way down the bottom, motionless.

"No," Swanpaw said, legs shaking. "Oh StarClan why?"

 _This is what you wanted,_  a voice in the back of his head spoke.  _Is it not?_

"No, no I never—" He gasped, feeling his chest tighten painfully. "I never wanted to kill him."

"RiverClan, retreat!" Cranestar wailed. Swanpaw spun around, unable to watch Lizardpaw's corpse any longer. He forced his shaky legs to run, and hurried behind his Clan-mates.

"Run you cowardly fish-breaths!" WindClan's warriors yowled in triumph. Some of them gave chase, but stopped immediately when RiverClan crossed the new border marks—the ones they had set when they first attacked WindClan.

As soon as his Clan was nearing the twoleg bridge he felt bile rise up his throat.

The brown tom ahead of him, Mudstream, stopped abruptly and Swanpaw collided with his backside.

"Watch it!" Mudstream hissed, and Swanpaw stumbled backward, feeling another wave of nausea and bending down to retch. Mudstream wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"Ah, poor mite. Perhaps the battle was too much for him." Flamepool said with mock pity, her blue eye and green eye both shone with open disdain.

Swanpaw's face burned with shame, and when he looked up he saw Mistclaw gazing at him with cold displeasure.

"Mudstream why did we stop?" Mistclaw asked evenly.

"I... I didn't see my apprentice."

"What!?" Fogpaw said, her pretty silver-and-white tabby fur bristling.

"I thought he'd be with you!" Mudstream said.

" _Thought?_  You're his mentor, you should know!" Silverpaw hissed.

"I lost him as soon as the battle started. You're littermates, you know how he is!"

Swanpaw shut his eyes tightly, but all he could see was the sight of Lizardpaw's battered corpse burned into the back of his eyelids. His breaths came in fast and hard, the cold turning them into fleeting clouds. He could feel panic all over again as cats yowled over each other, trying to figure out who'd been the last to see him.

Swanpaw felt a presence next to him and looked up. Mistclaw was watching him expectantly. Swanpaw searched his father's eyes for help, but found only a hard stare.

Swanpaw had never felt so ill in his life.

"He's dead." Swanpaw croaked.

A hush fell over his Clanmates, and all faces turned to him.

"How do  _you_ know that?" Silverpaw spat, the fur on her silver tabby shoulders rising.

"A… a WindClan warrior pushed him off a cliff." Swanpaw whispered, hunched over himself with shame.

"He was struggling against Tulipcloud." Mistclaw's tone declared disappointment. "I sent Swanpaw to help. Obviously he was too late."

Yowls of anguish rose into the air.

"You snake-tongued liar!" Silverpaw snarled venomously, leaping at Swanpaw with outstretched claws. Mudstream caught her before she reached Swanpaw and pinned her against the ground. "He's lying so we'll leave Lizardpaw behind!" She struggled against Mustream's grasp.

"Curlewpetal, discipline your apprentice." Cranestar growled.

A light brown tabby she-cat with black paws shot forward and pleaded with Silverpaw, who stood up and thrust her face in Swanpaw's muzzle.

Her breath stirred his whiskers. He almost wished she'd rake his muzzle, but after a terse moment she spun around with a growl and stalked away with Curlewpetal worrying at her side.

"Fogpaw where do you think you're going?!" Egretcloud said.

"We have to get him!" She said, limping back towards the hills.

"No." Cranestar hissed.

Egretcloud stepped forward to block Fogpaw's way, yet sympathy swelled in her yellow-green eyes. Fogpaw flinched, fixing her eyes down on her paws.

"Lizardpaw is dead," Cranestar continued slowly. "There's nothing we can do without now. He was a brave young cat. Ploverleaf will prepare his vigil for tonight." The light gray tom finished with a flick of his tail, leading his warriors across the twoleg bridge.

"You must be happy." Silverpaw roughly shoved Swanpaw aside as she padded past, jaw clenched.

Mudstream's head hung. "Eeltail," He whispered to the sleek brown cat beside him. "How will I tell Buzzardface?"

Fogpaw dragged her paws on the floor, eyes distant with grief.

Swanpaw blocked them out, letting his mind drift for the rest of the way. RiverClan territory held no traces of battle. What had just happened didn't feel real.

By the time they were near camp, Swanpaw's pads were sore from treading on the rock-hard mud and ice-rimmed tussocks of grass.

Brittle reeds poked up at the edge of the frozen river. The rattle of their feathery tops was the only thing that broke the silence. There was no sound or scent of prey, as usual.

Though there was no snow yet, the cold had been fiercer and harsher than ever before, freezing the river moons before it should—before they could prepare. There had been nearly nothing to feed RiverClan until a moon ago, when SkyClan offered a patch of their territory. Then half a moon ago, Cranestar claimed a part of WindClan's territory in battle.

Mistclaw said they would need more land if they were all to make it through leaf-bare.

They crossed the frozen river together with no doubt that the ice would hold their combined weight, then headed up the slope from the reed bed, weaving between the thick reed stalks of the camp walls. Once inside, queens and warriors who'd stayed behind rose to meet them from where they huddled in the clearing. They murmured worriedly at their mates, kits and friends. Defeat was heavy in the air.

A tiny grey-brown and white she-cat was scurrying hurriedly among them, prodding their fur and inspecting their wounds. Swanpaw watched his Clan's medicine cat, Ploverleaf, with patience, waiting for his turn to be treated. Then a thought seized him with terror.

 _Lizardpaw! He'll walk her dreams tonight_ — _He'll tell her everything!"_

Struggling to breathe, Swanpaw pushed past his Clanmates and headed straight for the apprentice's den, stumbling and sinking down into his reed nest, his body racked with horror. His only comfort was the solitude. Lizardpaw and his littermates were the only apprentices beside him. The den would be empty tonight, for the vigil.

_What if he walks MY dreams?_

The thought petrified him.

_And if I meet Hailstorm..._

He stood up, pacing restlessly. He shouldn't sleep. His limbs dragged with fatigue. His eyelids heavy but he  _couldn't_  let himself sleep.

He just stood through the night, watching Lizardpaw's family mourn from afar. Buzzardface had emerged from the nursery. A tiny speck of blue-gray fur bounded behind her. Rainkit looked alarmingly frail, wobbling on thin legs. Her tail was a mere trembling tendril. A tortoiseshell queen, Mosscreek, gently led her back to the nursery.

Swanpaw slumped against the wall of the den, and unknowingly slipped into a dark and fitful sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

_Lizardpaw thinks a lot about that first rocky meeting with Swanpaw._  He can call it up in perfect clarity, because he's always been good at remembering his failures.

Buzzardface lay, watching her kits practice so-called battle moves with a disinterested "too slow," or "off-balance".

Lizardpaw's father, Dewbrook, had come to visit them with treats.

That day he brought Swankit.

The white tom-kit seemed to shrink into his own long fur as the three littermates peered up with owlish eyes. One moon older, he loomed over them like a heron.

"You'll be living with them for a little bit," Dewbrook explained gently. "Until your apprentice ceremony."

"O-okay." Swankit mewed, and gave a shy little smile.

"Oh thank StarClan," Buzzardface grunted. "This will keep them off my fur for a while. Dewbrook, come for a swim?"

"Sure." Dewbrook purred, twining tails with his mate. "If you behave while we're gone," He turned to the four kits with mock seriousness. "I'll bring back some plover eggs."

The three littermates squealed with delight, nodding so hard their ears flopped. Swankit simply uttered a "yes sir".

Once they left, Lizardkit and his sisters unleashed a string of questions.

"Is it true," Fogkit leaned in. "That Mistclaw is your dad?"

Swankit nodded quietly.

"Your dad is the  _deputy_!" She gasped.

" _Our_  dad's a soft-bellied good-for-nothing." Silverkit said. "Or so Buzzardface says."

Swankit gave an amused snort.

Lizardkit observed him crossly, jealousy souring his tongue.

"Why didn't you live in the nursery with us?" Said Lizardkit. Swankit's smile disappeared.

Lizardkit sensed vulnerability, and pressed on.

"Where's your mum? Your littermates?"

"That's… It's not important."

"Why?"

"Because, I- It's just.." Swankit stammered to a halt and glowered at Lizardkit. "It's none of your business."

"Too good to live with kits and queens? Is that it?" Lizardkit growled softly, feeling his hackles rise.

"Just the nosy ones." Swankit snapped.

"I'm just asking—!"

Fogkit swiped her paw against the back of Lizardkit's head. "Stop it." She hissed.

"They're probably in StarClan." Silverkit whispered. "Don't be rude."

"StarClan?" Lizardkit said with a snort. "You don't believe in that bunch of badger droppings, right?"

Swankit flinched. "I-"

"Of course you don't," Lizardkit interrupted. "They're nursery tales meant to scare us."

"You know everything, don't you?" Swankit bristled, twice as big and just as angry. "Flea-head." He growled, glaring fiercely. Lizardkit ducked just in time to avoid Swankit's lashing tail as he turned around and stalked away toward the nursery.

Lizardkit watched him go, his belly hollow with shame and anger.

Darkness clustered around his vision, and without warning his dream was swept away.

.

.

.

"...ook at the size of the scar on his face—Ow!"

"Bramblingpaw, don't touch him! Have you got wool in your brain?"

Lizardpaw groaned awake. There was a gasp and a shuffle of pawsteps.

He cracked an eye open, dismayed to find that the fuzziness in his eyes had returned.  _I was having a good dream!_  He glared up at the blurry sight of a small gray-brown she-cat with dark ginger patches.

"Fish-fur." She spat, holding his glare evenly. Crouched next to her was a small brown tabby tom with tawny chest. He stared at Lizardpaw with alarm.

"You two have no permission to be here."

Lizardpaw heard the heather nest next to his rustle and turned to see Harrierwing haul herself up.

"Go." She said.

"We just—"

"Linnetpaw." Harrierwing cut her off sternly. "Should I have a word with your mentors?"

With groan Linnetpaw turned away, climbing through the den entrance. Her companion followed closely, casting fearful yet awed glances at Lizardpaw.

Harrierwing watched them go with a sad gaze. All trace of softness quickly hardened as she turned to Lizardpaw. "Get up." She ordered.

Lizardpaw was too tired to put up an act of defiance. He sat up very slowly, his muscles shrieking in protest. He was barely off the ground and gasping breaths were already coming in heavy.

"Sheepleap will be here later with more poppy seeds." Harrierwing said. "Don't make any trouble."

Lizardpaw sighed, looking around for the first time since he woke up. It dawned on him that the was in a different den from before. He didn't see any other nests, herbs, or a gap in the roof, though he was still inside an underground burrow of some sort.

_I suppose they moved me to my own private prison._

He opened his mouth for a hissing intake of breath, and cut off with a bout of coughs.

Harrierwing raised her brow at him. "Go and lay your injured side on the snow." She growled. "I don't want to end up with an ear-ache."

_Snow?_

Lizardpaw's annoyance was washed away by curiosity. He rose to his paws on shaky legs, nearly falling over again. The WindClan warrior offered no help as he stumbled towards the entrance, flopping down with exhaustion onto a powdery, cold ground.

He looked up to see that a soft white blanket had settled overnight across WindClan camp. If he squinted hard enough, he could see the rolling hills beyond. They had turned into mounds of white.

The camp in front of him was completely deserted except for the two earlier apprentices. Lizardpaw watched the two shapes quietly hopping through the snow, disappearing behind a wall of gorse.

Icy flecks drifted down slowly, settling into the ocean of white.

_My first snow._

Lizardpaw felt struck with immense sadness. He imagined Rainkit, his smallest sister, sitting by the nursery with her starved face and sharp little ribs. She'd be batting at the snowflakes, squealing with delight. Buzzardface would sweep her back into the warmth of the nursery with her usual bad-tempered grunt.

Fogpaw and Silverpaw would visit them, promising to return with something edible by the end of the day. They were often wrong. Dacekit had starved to death despite their best efforts; Buzzardface couldn't make enough milk without eating.

He missed his nuisance of a mentor, Mustream. He wouldn't even mind seeing Swanpaw.

_Will I ever see RiverClan again?_

WindClan couldn't keep him forever; wasting precious freshkill to feed an enemy. Then what did they want from him? Surely they'd kill him, sooner or later.

Lizardpaw rolled onto his injured side, sinking into the snowdrift. He sighed, feeling relief as the cold spread numbness over the hot, swollen bruises on his flank. His face had been on fire, and he remembered that the two small apprentices spoke about a scar.

He imagined the side of his face split along a large, gaping gash and shuddered. It would leave an ugly scar.

For a long time he lay, breathing slowly. A layer of white powder had settled over him, and his paws were numb. But instead of cold, he felt a stifling heat from within.

An overpowering tiredness was creeping onto him.

He closed his eyes, wishing to travel back into his memories, and found only dreamless sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

_A warm greenleaf breeze enveloped Swanpaw and the smell_  of fresh prey touched his nose. He realized he was walking through a moonlit path in the marsh, feeling the sedges graze his fur and his paws sink into watery moss, cool and springy beneath his pads. He heard a distant rush and recognized the familiar sound of the river. He ambled towards it as mist curled around him and blurred the familiar shapes of the marsh. He came upon a wall of bulrush tussocks and nosed his way through the stems until he broke out into moonshine. A stretch of glowing sand shore lay ahead. Silhouettes of tall, flat boulders rose from the banks and cast a trembling shadow on the slow-moving waters of the river.

Swanpaw immediately recognized Sunningrocks. He scrabbled atop the smooth boulders and felt their gentle warmth, though there was no sun to heat them.

His eyes scanned the surroundings, seeing nothing past the mist that purled from the river and stirred the willows. It was peaceful.

"You kept me waiting."

Horror seared through Swanpaw's body from tail to ears. He snapped his face around and came face-to-face with a large white tom. His pelt glittered like ice.

"Hailstorm."

Swanpaw's thoughts spun.  _This is StarClan! I fell asleep!_

His star-pelted mentor sat down patiently, placing his feathery tail on his forepaws. "I expected you to sleep as soon as you returned from the battle." He tilted his head.

Swanpaw felt a surge of rage wash over him. The fur along his spine rose.

Hailstorm's brow creased with uncertainty. "Something wrong?"

"You killed him." Swanpaw snarled.

Hailstorm looked startled. " _I_  did?" He said, voice lined with flint. "I must have imagined the part where you begged me to do it."

"I never asked you to kill him!" Swanpaw said. "I asked you to get him out of my way! What you did to his eyes was more than enough!"

Hailstorm's tail tip twitched to and fro with curiosity. "His eyes? What about his eyes?"

"His reflexes!"

Hailstorm remained quiet.

"You…" Swanpaw trailed off. "You didn't? Then who..."

Hailstorm stood up with a sigh. "It looks like we won't get much done today. Go back to sleep." He turned around.

"Stop!" Swanpaw hissed. "I'm not done."

Hailstorm paused, eyeing him with a dangerous gleam. "Watch your tone."

Swanpaw ignored him, shaking with anger. "What kind of warrior-" He spat. "Kills his own Clanmates?!" Swanpaw may have hated Lizardpaw and even enjoyed watching him struggle. But he never wanted the guilt and weight of his death.

Hailstorm's eyes widened with a look of cold fury and Swanpaw had no time to react as the tom whipped around and knocked him against the boulder. He glared at Swanpaw, a whisker away from his muzzle, and lashed his tail. "You have no right." He drew his lips back to reveal gleaming fangs. "After everything I've sacrificed for my Clan. I would give  _anything_ to keep them safe. Yet  _you_ ," He paused, raking his eyes over Swanpaw with scorn. "You've been nothing but a burden."

Swanpaw stiffened, startled by his fury. He had never seen Hailstorm lose his temper.

"You think I wanted to do it?" Hailstorm leaned close to the apprentice until his breath stirred his ear fur. "Lizardpaw would have made a finer warrior than you, and Egretcloud would have been RiverClan's next leader."

"But you said it was my destiny." Swanpaw struggled to breathe.

" _It is._ " Hailstorm said firmly."It has to be." He finally let go and Swanpaw heaved a breath as the weight of Hailstorm's paw was lifted from his chest. "I'm making sure you don't  _ruin_ it. RiverClan will need us. I fear something vicious and vile is coming to the forest." His eyes flashed with shadows of dread and unease. "Egretcloud is soft and dull _._  The Clan won't survive."

The StarClan warrior shook his head desperately as Swanpaw sat up.

"You wanted Lizardpaw gone, and now you want a clean conscience? Well, tough." Hailstorm turned around and began stalking away. "That young tom suffered because you were too weak to fulfill your expectations. I did what had to be done. You forced me to carry this burden for you, and for the Clan." He glanced at Swanpaw once last time, before disappearing into the mist.

" _Reflect on that."_

Darkness swallowed Swanpaw, pressing so thick that he held his breath and waited for the blackness to swamp him like water. Panic surged through his pelt and he grasped, groping desperately until he felt  _something_ under his claws. It squelched and oozed between his toes. Swanpaw shivered as the sickening sweetness of rotting meat wafted over him.

He glanced down and froze. Cold fear hollowed his stomach.

Lizardpaw's corpse lay underneath him.

Glazed, lifeless eyes. Torn, rotten flesh sloughed wetly from bone. Blood pooled, thick and dark.

Lizardpaw's pelt began wriggling. Swanpaw watched, petrified with fear, as maggots and flies spilled from his open wounds and gaping jaws.

He wanted to scream for help or look away. But he was helpless. He could do nothing but watch.

Then Lizardpaw's eyes rolled in their sockets. They were looking at him.

_"murderer"_

Swanpaw woke up with a pang of terror. A scream was painfully trapped in his throat. He fought for air. His ears were ringing and his body was burning with adrenaline. Pale dawn filtered through the woven reeds of the roof but he had no time to feel relief. He remembered the feeling of maggots and putrid flesh under his paws and rose hurriedly to his paws. He dodged Fogpaw and Silverpaw's sleeping bodies as he desperately scrambled for fresh air outside the den.

Once outside he bent down to retch bile from his empty stomach. It seared his throat and burned his nose.

"Swanpaw?"

A warm mew startled him, and he jerked up to see Mosscreek gaze at him, her eyes swelling with concern. The sight of the tortoiseshell queen swept Swanpaw into feelings of safety, warmth and milk. He padded toward her on trembling legs.

If he tried his hardest he could faintly recall his mother or his littermates. Their memory was tainted with the stench of sickness and death. But Mosscreek was a vivid image. She stepped in to nurture him after they died, spending moons in the medicine cat den with him.

Hoping to prove his father that he was strong he demanded to have his own nest in the nursery, rejecting her care in the end. Now, as he buried his muzzle in her downy fur and heard her soothing murmurs, he felt safe and cared for.

The comfort tugged on a buried memory so hazy it could have been a dream. It's was his third night in the nursery. He insisted that he sleep on his own, and watched with veiled envy as Lizardkit and his littermates snored softly, tucked under Buzzardface's ragged tail.

A gust of wind howled outside, and cold air blew between a gap in the woven reeds of the den, piercing his fur. He buried his nose under his paws, racked by shivers and a sore, aching loneliness. He couldn't help the small mewls that escaped him, and was not surprised when he looked up to see Lizardkit's green eyes blinking at him blearily in the dark.

"What?" Swankit whispered defensively.

Lizardkit didn't reply. He gaped his jaws in a huge yawn and wobbled towards him. Swankit watched, puzzled, as the kit who had done nothing but harass him nestled down beside him and fell asleep. Lizardkit's white chest rose rhythmically and his pelt seeped warmth back into Swankit's. Confused yet exhausted, Swankit closed his eyes and let himself feel cared for.

Of course the next day his nest had been empty, the nursery wall had been patched, and Lizardkit acted as though nothing had happened.

Swanpaw once hoped that they could become friends, but it fell apart when they became apprentices.

Why had he remembered this now? Why had Lizardpaw shown kindness? Did he not hate Swanpaw? Guilt felt like a deep ache in his chest.

"Oh sweetnose," Swanpaw flinched as Mosscreek shifted. "Are you okay?" He could feel her ribs sharply prodding at him through her thin skin and he startled away from her. Her eyes were sunken and her face was hollowed out with hunger. She looked so frail and weak.

 _Something vicious and vile is coming to this place._ Hailstorm's words rung in his ears, and he felt a cold numbness wash over him.

_It had to be done._

A fierceness gripped Swanpaw.

_They need you. No more mistakes._


	6. Chapter 6

_"Fogpaw, stop grabbing my stuff!"_

" _I_  found that one!"

The sound of scuffling erupted and Lizardpaw had no time to move before he was trampled under-paw. "Get off me you fat trouts!" He yelped, thrashing.

The two weights on him rolled off immediately. He glared at them, surprised to find that his eyesight was sharp and clear. He stopped to think.

_Em I dreaming?_

He shook the strange thought from his head.

"Oops." Fogpaw said half-heartedly, smoothing her silky fur.

"You were in the way." Silverpaw huffed.

Lizardpaw sighed, wishing fiercely that he hadn't chosen to pull his nest so close to his sisters'. The frenzy to decorate their new nests had started a moon ago, as soon as they moved in to the apprentice's den. There were colorful feathers, pebbles and shells littered all over the floor.

"Can you quiet down a little?" Said a mild voice towards the back.

Swanpaw was glaring at them tiredly, long messy fur sticking out in patches. Lizardpaw suppressed a  _mrrow_  of laughter. Swanpaw always looked tragic before his morning groom session.

"It's like I'm living in a crow's nest." The white tom grumbled.

Silverpaw and Lizardpaw scoffed in unison.

"Says the one always mewling and kicking in the middle of the night."

"Yeah, a cat couldn't get any sleep for all the fish in the river!"

Swanpaw's eyes narrowed and he as he opened his mouth, but was cut off by a yowl from outside the woven reeds of the den.

"Out! All of you, I can hear you arguing!"

Ears pressed to their heads, the four apprentices made their way out into the open, shivering from the leaf-bare chill. Eeltail and Mudstream sat with their tails twitching in annoyance while Curlewpetal only yawned.

"So," Eeltail began stiffly. "Since you've decided to get everyone up for the day—"

Swanpaw hunched apologetically.

"—we're not leaving until every kit, queen and elder has swallowed the last bit of their breakfast."

"But we're finally training by the beech copse!" Lizardpaw groaned loudly.

Fogpaw smacked the back of his head with a her tail while Silverpaw hissed a  _shh!_  at him.

Lizardpaw glared.

.

Cold sunlight shone faintly above the cattails by the time they finished fishing and delivering food.

 _Going to the beech copse feels more like a punishment now_ , thought Lizardpaw. He dragged his tail tiredly behind him and glared at Swanpaw, who was prancing ahead with a spring in his step. The white tom had barely been an apprentice for two moons but he was already an idol in the Clan. Tireless, dutiful and never one to complain. He'll be a great leader, they said. Lizardpaw knew he'd be living under Swanpaw's shadow for the rest of his life. It left him bitter.

"I can feel you glaring a hole into the back of my head, Lizardbrain." Swanpaw said without looking back.

Lizardpaw ignored him and splashed ahead through the marsh. He matched the pace of his mentor, Mudstream, as the beech trunks loomed ahead. He fluffed out his fur with excitement as they found their way to the small clearing. Frost-bitten ferns lined the open arena beside a cluster of beeches. A few trembling aspens ringed it, the wind rattling their bare branches.

"That was good, Flamepool!" The sound of Cranestar's yowl slowed Lizardpaw to a halt.

Ahead, Flamepool and Egretcloud were standing in the flat stretch of ground. The frost on the surface of the earth was churned up around them. Cranestar and Mistclaw sat nearby with an assessing look.

"Why are they still training?" Lizardpaw blinked at Mudstream. The two she-cats had become warriors a few sunrises ago.

"Cranestar just wanted a few extra battle lessons." The sleek brown tom explained.

Lizardpaw watched, fascinated, as Egretcloud crouched down among the ferns and Flamepool charged at her, darting in to rake a paw across her head. Egretcloud ducked so that the blow only ruffled her fur.

Suddenly Flamepool leaped again, and Egretcloud reared up to catch her with outstretched arms, using the momentum of the collision to swing around and smash her to the floor. The two cats were locked together, swiping at each other with all four paws as they struggled to pin the other to the ground.

"Mudstream, I want to learn that move!" Lizardpaw mewed excitedly.

"It's too advanced." Mudstream said.

"No it's not!"

" _I'll_  decide that." Mudstream narrowed his eyes. "Not you. Now sit quietly."

Lizardpaw scowled with resentment.

_Buzzardface would have agreed._

He had wanted his mother to become his mentor, but she was already pregnant with a second litter by the time he left the nursery. Buzzardface wasn't one to coddle him. Even when they were kits, if they wanted to learn, she'd teach.

"Swanpaw." Mistclaw said. The deputy approached them, fixing a glare on his son. "You're late."

"Sorry." Swanpaw mumbled, pawing at the stubby grass. "We had to feed the elders."

"Well, let's not waste any more time." Curlewpetal cut in cheerfully. "Today we're going to teach you a new move. Mudstream and Eeltail will show you first. Watch them closely."

Lizardpaw's claws itched impatiently while Mudstream crouched and flicked his tail towards Eeltail. "Ready?"

Eeltail nodded briskly. "When you are."

Mudstream lashed with a paw and Eeltail immediately dropped to the ground on her shoulder, kicking the ground with her hindlegs so that she could roll away fluidly.

She was back to her paws in a blink, rearing up and ready to swipe back at Mudstream.

"It's a simple move. Now let's practice." Curlewpetal instructed. "Swanpaw pair up with Lizardpaw. Fogpaw you're with Silverpaw."

 _That's unfair!_ Lizardpaw thought.  _Swanpaw already knows this move. He'll beat me for sure._

The four apprentices squared up, ready to spar.

Swanpaw crouched. His feathery tail tip twitched, and Lizardpaw's eyes flickered toward the movement. Suddenly Swanpaw shot forward, paw outstretched. Lizardpaw wasn't ready to dodge and Swanpaw's blow connected with his head. His ears rung with the force of the impact.

 _Pay attention!_  His mother's voice hissed in his head.

"You're not very good at this, are you." Swanpaw grinned smugly.

Lizardpaw grit his teeth with frustration as they squared off again.

This time Lizardpaw ignored Swanpaw's tail, and focused on his shoulders, watching for the moment when they tensed.

Swanpaw struck and Lizardpaw rolled out of the way rabbit-fast, leaving enough time to rear up on shaky legs and return a swipe that almost knocked Swanpaw off his paws.

Swanpaw gaped at him with stunned shock.

"You were only supposed to dodge!"

"Swanpaw!" Mistclaw's snarl took Lizardpaw by surprise. The deputy had been watching intensely the whole time. He felt a chill run down his spine.

"How many times have I taught you not to let your guard down?" Mistclaw said.

"You can't make excuses on the battlefield." Cranestar agreed.

"It won't happen again." Swanpaw answered softly, meeting their stern expressions as boldly as he dared.

Lizardpaw heard a whisper behind him and saw Flamepool and Egretcloud with their heads leaned close together.

"He can't keep up with an apprentice barely out of the nursery." Flamepool's mismatched eyes shone with disdain. "And Cranestar picked him over you?"

Lizardpaw turned back to see Swanpaw glare at him, eyes darkened with shame and anger.

_How was I supposed to know they were all watching?_

"Lizardpaw," Mustream was meowing, trying to diffuse the tension. "Come here so I can teach you how to swipe properly."

Lizardpaw's ears twitched with relief as he turned his back on Swanpaw. He looked up, and saw Fogpaw's eyes widen.

Behind him, Swanpaw was getting ready to pounce!

In a split-second Lizardpaw lashed out with his hind legs. It was clumsy, and he missed almost entirely, but one leg caught Swanpaw's shoulder and knocked him off-course. The white apprentice landed on the floor with a thump.

"I haven't taught that move yet!" Mudstream gasped.

 _Buzzardface did!_  Lizardpaw thought triumphantly, too pleased with himself to notice Swanpaw charging him again.

"A warrior doesn't let their guard down." Swanpaw snarled, slamming Lizardpaw to the frost-layered ground and pinning him there.

Lizardpaw yowled with surprise when he felt claws prick at his skin, though not hard enough to draw blood. Furious, he latched his own claws onto Swanpaw's shoulders, struggling to break away.

"Lizardpaw! Claws sheathed!" Eeltail yelled.

"A warrior has claws for a reason." Lizardpaw spat, surging up with a burst of anger and flipping Swanpaw underneath him. Swanpaw was older and bigger, but Lizardpaw made up for his size in brawn.

"This is practice," Curlewpetal said worriedly. "You shouldn't hurt your clanmates."

"What exactly is hurting?" Lizardpaw said venomously as he applied pressure to the claws on Swanpaw's shoulders. Swanpaw's eyes shone with alarm. "Do I have to wrap them up in feathers before I touch them?"

"Break it off!" Cranestar commanded, and Lizardpaw immediately let go. Swanpaw scrambled to his paws, ruffled but unharmed.

Now that the anger was gone, Lizardpaw felt hot shame gathering in his stomach.

_But he started it!_

Swanpaw looked at Mistclaw with distress. His father shook his head, and whispered something into Cranestar's ear. With a look of disappointment, the leader stood up and paced back towards camp. Flamepool and Egretcloud followed, sneering.

"That's leader material? Yeah right," Flamepool muttered. "And fish fly."

Lizardpaw bristled.

Swanpaw might be a pompous minnow-brain, but did he really deserve such harshness? He watched Swanpaw walk away, as always, with a mix of anger and shame.

.

.

.

Lizardpaw woke up from the long dream with a sticky blink. He rubbed his eyes, to chase away the blurry edges in his vision, disappointment pooling in his stomach when nothing changed. One day he had opened his eyes just like that and the world had lost it's clarity.

"He's awake."

Lizardpaw craned his neck when he heard Ryepaw's voice, shocked with how stiff he felt. He could hardly move. His limbs felt heavy and his head felt like it was stuffed with cotton.

"Don't move, you've been out for a while." Sheepleap spoke above him. She bent down to nose through his fur.

"Fever's broken." She said, a flicker of relief passing through her face.

"How long... did I sleep?" Lizardpaw's hardly recognized his own mew. It sounded hoarse and unused.

"Days." Harrierwing said. She hung back next to Ryepaw.

Lizardpaw frowned. He remembered faintly. It was a haze, days blending together from the glimpses of consciousness. Sometimes he heard cats speaking distantly around him. Mostly he felt the throb of his wounds and a stifling heat. He was so tired, like he could sleep for a thousand moons.

"It was an infection," Sheepleap said. "I'm honestly surprised you're still alive."

"You ought to thank StarClan for sparing you." Harrierwing grunted.

"Once the poppy seeds wear off he'll wish they hadn't." Ryepaw muttered.

"We will be off then." Sheepleap stood with a tired sigh. Ryepaw spared Lizardpaw a final glare before padding out the den after his mentor. There was pale red light shining through the entrance, then den was quickly plunged into darkness as the last ray of daylight disappeared. Lizardpaw's eyelids were heavy but fought off sleep, afraid that he'd wake up for days later again.

The silence built up and Lizardpaw felt anxious hearing nothing but Harrierwing's even breaths.

He cleared his dry throat.

"Why-" He began, voice cracking. "Why do you care if I live. What do you want from me?"

Harrierwing was silent for a long time. Lizardpaw nearly jumped when she spoke.

"I have no reason to tell you."

Lizardpaw exhaled forcefully.  _I'll give you one, you mangy old crow,_ he thought, flexing his claws. "Fine." He gritted out. "Me too. You won't get anything from me, understand? There's nothing you can do to get information from me, and if you do it'll be worthless." He barked out a bitter laugh. "You can't trade me either. I'm not worth anything in exchange. Even if I went back I'm no use to anyone. I can't hunt, I can't fight-" He cut off, breathing heavily.

"You wasted your time and effort," Lizardpaw spat. "As far as they're concerned I'm better off dead."

Harrierwing remained quiet.

For a long time Lizardpaw simply focused on getting his breathing under control. He was grateful for the pitch blackness; Harrierwing didn't have to see the look on his face as he tried to hold back the sobs that threatened to empty from him.

He was angry, miserable and ashamed.  _I got myself into this mess. I deserve this. They don't need me, they're_ better _without me._  He thought wretchedly.

 _"Enough of this."_  His mother's stern voice was perfectly clear in his head.  _"Enemies prey on weakness. Show them strength."_

He steeled himself.

 _"One day you'll attend the Gathering."_  She had said once. _"Say little and watch carefully. Let the other Clans reveal_ their _weaknesses to you."_

He was so deep in thought that he hadn't noticed Harrierwing moving until she was close enough to brush past his whiskers. Surprised, he reared back with a hiss. Instantly pain shot through his body, and he grimaced. Ryepaw was right. Now that the poppy seeds were wearing off, every ache and hurt was starting to return.

"Relax," Harrierwing said. "It's just fresh-kill."

Lizardpaw realized that she had dropped a small lump of meat near his paws. He sniffed cautiously.  _Rabbit_. His mouth watered, but his pride was greater.

"I'm not hungry." He said. Then his stomach growled. Lizardpaw felt his face heat up with embarrassment.

"Just eat it." Harrierwing padded back to her nest.

He ate in grudging bites, choking when he couldn't manage to push the food down his parched throat.

"There's melted snow near the entrance." Harrierwing said, but Lizardpaw ignored her and continued to eat.

They stayed in silence for the rest of the night.

Lizardpaw decided that yes, of course he wanted to live. In fact, when he returned to he Clan he would do so with useful information.

They would welcome him back as a true warrior.


	7. Chapter 7

_Lizardpaw_ _crouched over the leg of a hare, ripping_  into it hungrily. He wrinkled his nose at the taste of dry flesh, stiff and sour as bark.

 _I shouldn't complain,_ he thought with a pang of shame. He was probably better fed than his Clanmates. Despite being a prisoner, WindClan often had scraps to spare for him. Harrierwing was sitting next to him under the gorse bush, enjoying the rest of the hare. He eyed it jealously and caught her eye. She sighed, pushing it towards him.

He sank into it with an appreciative grunt. For the past moon it also appeared that Harrierwing had warmed up to him.

"I need to make dirt." He muttered.

"What?"

"I need to make dirt." He said louder.

Harrierwing eyed him suspiciously, and began to stand.

"I can go by myself." Lizardpaw groaned. "Or do you want to hold my paw while I do it?"

"Fine. Bury the hare bones too." She said. "And I wouldn't consider escaping if I were you, not after the last ridiculous attempt. Brambles don't  _walk_."

Lizardpaw's pinned his ears with embarrassment as he skulked away, wondering if he'd imagined the glint of amusement in her eye.

On the way back he swung his head to scan the moonlit clearing. It was desolate, as usual. It had been impossible to find out where the rest of WindClan was hiding; all his attempts to cross the gorse wall had failed.

He slumped down next to Harrierwing with a brooding frown, glowering at the full moon.

"What is it now?" Harrierwing said.

Lizardpaw pitched her a withering glare. "Oh, I don't know. These hares taste like dirt, my wounds itch and hurt all over, I miss my nest, I miss my littermates, I even miss my mentor, I'm bored and this whole camp is empty! Yeah I wonder what it could be."

"You complain too much." Harrierwing gave an unimpressed snort. "You should be thanking StarClan you're even alive."

"There we go again." Lizardpaw rolled his eyes. "I get to be stuck with Ms. 'StarClan this and StarClan that' of all cats."

Harrierwing bristled.

"You RiverClan cats have no respect! It's no wonder the river was frozen, perhaps StarClan thinks it's time to remind you that we're here by their will! Your gifts and abilities were granted by them,"

Lizardpaw moaned dramatically, pressing his ears over his head.

"You should honor them and be servants to their will, your arrogance is—"

"Harrierwing!" A squeak interrupted the senior warrior. Bramblingpaw and Linnetpaw were plodding towards them, belly-deep in the snow.

 _More annoying flea-brains!_ Lizardpaw thought miserably.

"Please, please, please." Linnetpaw was mewling. "Talk to Swiftstar! He won't let us go to the Gathering."

Harrierwing's tail lashed impatiently. "No. Young apprentices don't go to Gatherings, especially ones that don't know how to follow orders."

"But-"

"You're not supposed to be here." She reminded sharply.

"It's my bad," Another cat said. It was a white tom with black spots. "They came with me. I'm here to replace you for the night, Swiftstar wants you ready for the Gathering."

"I see." Harrierwing nodded as she stood up. She paused and gazed sternly at Lizardpaw. "Don't do anything stupid. Spottedflight isn't as patient as I am." She murmured before leading the two apprentices away with her.

 _You? Patient?_ Lizardpaw scoffed.

Spottedflight crouched stiffly a tail-length from Lizardpaw, tucking his paws under his chest. Lizardpaw scrutinized him. WindClan had never sent other warriors to replace Harrierwing before, perhaps he could goad information.

"Sheepleap said to give you this." The tom nosed two shriveled juniper berries toward him. Lizardpaw swallowed them eagerly. The searing ache of his wounds had gradually lessened, but it still left him lame.

"Are those apprentices Harrierwing's kits?" Lizardpaw began casually.

"No."

"Really? They look alike."

"They're kin."

"My mother is a senior warrior. She had kits late, it's not that uncommon."

"And it sure worked out great for her, didn't it?" Spottedflight sneered.

"You shut your maw!" Lizardpaw let out a long hiss of fury.

Buzzardface had struggled badly through his birth and her second litter had been worse. Three were born dead, only Dacekit and Rainkit survived, though Dacekit didn't live long. Lizardpaw didn't realize other Clans knew about it.

Spottedflight's eyes darkened. "Are you looking for a fight?"

Lizardpaw clenched his jaw and turned away, seething silently. He was no match for anyone, not even without his wounds.

Time stretched. The moon was nearly at its zenith, and Lizardpaw shot a rabbit-fast peek at Spottedflight. His yellow eyes were drooping tiredly, chin nestled against his chest.

_Yes! Go to sleep you stupid flea-pelt._

He waited until Spottedflight's eyes were shut, then stood up very, very slowly, flinching as the snow crunched faintly. He looked back, relieved that his eyes were still closed. Harrierwing was an incredibly light sleeper, he'd never managed to sneak past her before.

He breathed in so his belly didn't brush the snow and set his paws down carefully, heart pounding in his throat. He didn't want to break through the frozen surface and sink into the powdery drifts underneath, alerting the tom. He reached the gorse wall, and pushed through the thorns slowly, praying that they wouldn't crackle. On the other side he was met by a tall wall of brittle, frozen heather. He came out on the other side and felt the fierce breeze whirl snow into his face.

_I did it!_

Freedom loomed beyond the glowing, snow-pelted hilltops.

He braced himself against the buffeting wind and toiled up the slope toward a ridge that was a row of snaggly teeth. From the rock-strewn ridge Lizardpaw looked back. The dip in the ground that concealed WindClan's camp was now a hazy patch in his vision.

He looked forward and paused. There was something down the hill, a cluster of boulders? He squinted. They  _moved_.

Lizardpaw bolted behind a boulder, heart knocking. It was the Gathering patrol.

_Fox-dung! Did they see me?_

Lizardpaw peeked cautiously over the ridge. They seemed undisturbed.

"Warriors of WindClan!" A she-cat cried, standing in the center of the crowd. Lizardpaw squinted hard, making out long tabby stripes like grass strands. It was Grassbreeze, WindClan's deputy. He guessed the gray-brown smudge next to her was her father, Swiftstar.

The full moon was a shock of white against a backdrop of deep black sky, and cold light rimmed the silhouette of their shapes.

"RiverClan has stolen from us. They must have forgotten that we were born with teeth and claws. Tonight we take back what is ours!"

WindClan erupted in a caterwaul of rage, and the snow flickered with the shadows of lashing tails.

There was a swell of dread in Lizardpaw's belly.  _They can't attack RiverClan on a Gathering night! There's a truce!_  He glanced upwards at the moon, as if expecting StarClan's fury to shroud it in darkness, but it sailed serenely above the hills.

Anger washed over him. Of course nothing happened. There was no rule in the warrior code against it, but the elders had told him tales of cats who were punished by StarClan for disobeying their full-moon truce. He'd always suspected they were elaborate lies to keep cats in line.

The tight circle of cats broke away. To his dismay, Harrierwing and Swiftstar were wading through the powdery snow  _toward him_. Their voices grew closer and louder, and he pressed himself tightly against a boulder with bated breath. They stopped a few tail-lengths from him.

"After the Gathering, Weaselpelt's patrol will wait for my signal at the twolegbridge." Swiftstar was saying. "Together we will ambush them and force them to surrender our land. We'll use the hostage as guarantee that they keep their word."

 _Cowards!_  Lizardpaw growled inwardly. _You don't fight like real warriors you mangy pieces of crowfood!_

A strong gust of wind crashed down the hills of the moor, kicking up snow from the ground. Harrierwing paused, nose twitching.

Lizardpaw held his breath.

_Did she scent me?_

But she simply twitched flakes off from her whiskers. Lizardpaw closed his eyes with silent relief.

"I still think this is a mistake."

"Sheepleap is convinced StarClan is on our side. Have faith Harrierwing."

"Then will we take every warrior?"

"Yes. Only Spottedflight and the two apprentices will stay behind. The queens and elders are safely hidden thanks to our tunnelers."

Lizardpaw's ears pricked with interest.

" _My_  tunnelers you mean." Harrierwing purred. "You haven't worked with us for a long time."

"Yes well," Swiftstar rasped. "I'm old now, Harrierwing and I... I have to be careful. I don't have any lives left."

Lizardpaw's dark eyes widened.  _Listen closely. Let them reveal their weakness._

"I want to join Runninghare in the elder's den soon. You should come with me, you deserve to watch Bramblingpaw and Linnetpaw grow up strong."

"While  _I_  grow lazy and soft?" Harrierwing said derisively. "I've spent my whole life earning the authority I have now. I'd like to enjoy it. Besides, this Clan will fall apart without me."

Swiftstar gave a croaking laugh. "Sure will!"

The laughter died down and a long pause followed.

"I never thanked you enough," Swiftstar said. "Without your support I would have never managed." He sighed deeply. "What you did for Grassbreeze—stepping down as deputy and guiding her—it means a lot."

"I know. Come on, let's not be late or..."

Lizardpaw let out a shaky breath as the crunch of their pawsteps faded away. The relief didn't last long. Now that he knew WindClan was going to attack his Clanmates he  _had_  to warn them.

He waited until he was sure the WindClan patrol was out of sight, and nervously set off on a limping pace, trudging against the blast of the wind. Soon the snow was falling so thickly that he could scarcely see where he was going, and he was panting effort. The effect of the juniper berries was wearing off, and now he wondered how he'd ever managed to stand up in the first place. He felt stabs of pain at his side with every step and the air was so cold that his lungs burned.

He managed to cross several fields and travel down the long, steep slope of a valley that ended in a snow-drowned meadow. His head swam with agony and his legs crumpled beneath him.

For a long moment he lay there, breathing shallowly. After a moment of rest, Lizardpaw rolled onto his paws and forced himself up. It wouldn't be long before he reached Fourtrees now.

" _You there!_  Stop!"

Lizardpaw's heart dropped as he heard a familiar outraged squeak. He looked up behind him. In the distance sat two small blurry shapes on a tall rock that stuck out from the moor-top. Bramblingpaw and Linnetpaw leaped off and charged toward him.

"Frog-dirt and fish-guts!" His belly tightened with frustration as he broke into a run. With each breath of freezing air he felt a wave of darkness rise behind his eyes. He looked back to see his pursuers quickly gaining ground.

Without warning his front paws plunged deep past the layer of snow and his pads felt nothing underneath. Lizardpaw sprang back, but was knocked forward as one of the apprentices tackled him.

"No!—" Lizardpaw's scream was cut off as he sunk into the ground. Panic sent his thoughts spiraling into terror as he landed and soil closed over his head, crushing him. He couldn't breathe, choking on wet, cold earth. It filled his mouth, his ears, his nostrils.

_I'm drowning!_

Instincts kicked in and he swam desperately, scrabbling for a hold. His claws caught on rock and he hauled himself upward, breaking through the soil with violent coughing.

Standing above him was Linnetpaw, gaping in horror. The sand beneath him quivered and he saw a small brown paw clawing desperately at the surface, then lie completely still.

"Bramblingpaw!" Linnetpaw shrieked and began digging frantically.

Immediately Lizardpaw sunk his wide paws into the earth and felt fur snag on his claws. He gripped the rocky edge of the caved pit with his hind claws and tugged with a powerful jerk.

Bramblingpaw came free and fell limply next to him. He wasn't breathing.

Linnetpaw let out a thin, pitiful wail.

 _This is your chance!_ _Run!_

Lizardpaw's began to limp down the slope, but it felt wrong. There was something familiar about the situation. It had felt just like drowning. Maybe...

He turned back, rolling Bramblingpaw onto his side and tilting his muzzle back. He pried his his jaws open and tried hook out as much dirt as he could with his claw. Then, resting his forepaws on Bramblingpaw's chest, he began pumping.

_Please work! Please work!_

He'd seen Ploverleaf perform the same motion on Rainkit before, when she'd accidentally swallowed too much water in the shallow pool near the nursery.

"Get Sheepleap! Hurry!" Lizardpaw pleaded with Linnetpaw. She was shaking, but she turned and took off at racing pace.

Lizardpaw began compressing with more force and Bramblingpaw shuttered, paws flapping.

Joy flooded Lizardpaw when the apprentice let out a sob, and began coughing out dirt.

 _He's breathing._  Lizardpaw watched Bramblingpaw's chest rise and fall with wonder. _I saved him!_ He thought, giddy with relief.

Then he heard the snow crunch behind him, and without warning he was knocked down by a hard blow.

Gasping for breath, Lizardpaw rolled over and saw Spottedflight standing over him with a snarl of cold fury. Moonlight glinted on his claws as he raised a paw. "You nearly killed my apprentice!" It came down on him and tore through the skin in his ear.

Lizardpaw cried out.

"Wait!" Bramblingpaw spluttered.

Spottedflight stepped back and let Lizardpaw tear away.

Warm blood trickled from his ear and his heart lurched.  _I won't be able to escape now._

"What happened?" Spottedflight demanded a he inspected his apprentice, tail wrapping around him protectively.

"We were ch-chasing the prisoner," Bramblingpaw explained, voice trembling. "We fell into the earth but—" Bramblingpaw was cut off as the mottled warrior growled.

"It was the badger set. This is why we shouldn't be living underground like worms! And you still want Harrierwing to make you her tunneling apprentice?" He hissed, then turned to Lizardpaw.

"Get up." He ordered.

 _No!_  Lizardpaw's mind was racing.  _I need to warn my Clanmates!_

"I-" He stammered. "I can't walk."

"Fine then." Spottedflight gripped Lizardpaw's scruff firmly with his teeth and tugged, dragging him along.

"Let go!" Lizardpaw thrashed, clawing desperately at the air. He imagined the WindClan patrol swarming his Clanmates.

_I need to warn them!_

He imagined his mother's hollow gaze and Rainkit's fragile, bony limbs, thinner and thinner every day. RiverClan needed that territory more than WindClan did, why couldn't they see that!?

Rage flooded Lizardpaw and he twisted with startling force, clawing viciously at Spottedflight's face. Spottedflight dropped him and howled in pain as blood welled from his right eye.

Lizardpaw froze with shock.

_Run you mouse-brain!_

He left a flurry of snow in his wake.

"I'll kill you!" Spottedflight screamed.

Lizardpaw looked back and saw the WindClan tom stumbling toward him, the side of his face soaked in red.

 _I won't make it to Fourtrees._ He realized, limping frantically.  _There's only one way I can escape._

He made a sharp turn toward RiverClan.

_The gorge._


	8. Chapter 8

_Swanpaw kept his eyes on the ground as he walked_  behind Mistclaw, feeling worn down and dreary. For nearly a moon now he had done everything he was supposed to. He hunted until his pads cracked from treading the frozen ground. He trained diligently and followed Mistclaw's orders meticulously, all the while losing sleep for fear of meeting Hailstorm or even Lizardpaw in his dreams.

Rats gnawed the inside of his belly every time he saw Ploverleaf, RiverClan's medicine cat.

 _She knows! She knows everything!_  He would think.  _StarClan must have told her! If I make a single mistake... She could tell Mistclaw. The whole Clan will know. They'll never forgive me..._

The shame of his mistake had grown larger by the day. He could no longer bear to look at Fogpaw and Silverpaw. He avoided the nursery like a lair of foxes, where Buzzardface had confined herself to mourn the death of yet another one of her kits.

"Pay attention." Mistclaw's stern tone dragged him out of his thoughts.

"Yes Mistclaw." Swanpaw said quietly.

"It's a great honor to be chosen for the Gathering. Besides elders and senior warriors, only two or three others are picked." His father went on.

Swanpaw tried to muster a glow of pride, but found only apathy and lethargy. "Yes Mistclaw." He murmured. He would give up his honored seat for a good night's rest in a heartbeat.

"Oh I'm sorry," Mistclaw scowled. "Is this an inconvenience to you? I didn't realize you had better things to do."

Swanpaw's chest tightened with alarm. "N-no! Of course not, I'm very grateful, really!"

Mistclaw's eyes narrowed.

"It's just..." Swanpaw swallowed thickly. "I don't know if I deserve to go."

Mistclaw's icy expression thawed, and Swanpaw sagged with relief that he found the right words.

"If it were up to me, you'd spend the night sitting vigil for the kits and queens. But Cranestar seems to think you've behaved decently this moon. It's time you began building a reputation with the other Clans anyway."

Swanpaw felt a spike of stress. "W-what should I do?"  _What should I say? How should I act?_

"Think!" Mistclaw hissed. "You'll be representing the Clan. If you can't do that properly then just stay quiet and try not to attract too much attention."

When the last of the chosen warriors had gathered at the clearing, Cranestar held his tail to give the signal.

A ripple of whispers spread through the camp and all eyes turned to the nursery as Buzzardface emerged. Kitting had taken a toll on the formidable queen, Swanpaw thought. Her ribs prodded from her sides and her rich, thick coat was now dull and ragged. But Swanpaw wasn't fooled. He could see hard, powerful muscles shift under her pelt and sense strength from the fierceness of her dark green gaze. One of her ears was shredded to a tattered stump, and her broad shoulders were traced with the scars of many old battles. Any cat would be mouse-brained to think she was less dangerous than before.

"I will be attending the Gatheing." Her voice rang clear. Cranestar nodded.

_But she's nursing her kit!_

Buzzardface prowled with predatory confidence, and stood by Mistclaw. His father's head tipped in acknowledgment.

Swanpaw twitched his ears nervously, but she ignored him, and they set off.

After crossing the twoleg bridge and traveling on a short stretch of wooded land, they reached the bush-covered brow of a gentle slope. Swanpaw caught movement further up and saw cats leaping from boulder to boulder down the side of a craggy cliff face.

"WindClan." Cranestar said grimly.

Below them stood four enormous oaks, their snow-topped crowns reaching almost to the crest of the glade's steepest wall.

Swanpaw paused to taste the air, pungent with the scents of the other Clans. His tired indifference was washed away by awe. He could see them clearly, pelts silvered by moonlight. More cats than he'd ever seen in one place before. They stood apart in tight knots, eyes narrowed with suspicion.

"We use to share tongues with the other Clans." Turtlesnap, the elder's den best storyteller, spoke beside Swanpaw. "Apprentices would compare battle moves and warriors would boast tales of their victories. Queens would swap schemes to tame their kits, and elders would reminisce together." Her pale green eyes shone wistfully.

"It's better this way, if you ask me." Slugclaw spat. She was the Clan's youngest elder, forced to retire after escaping from twolegs that stole her claws. "Nothing good comes from fraternizing with the enemy."

RiverClan entered the glade in single file. A large boulder in the center of the clearing rose from the forest floor like a jagged tooth, glinting with frost. The other four leaders were atop, waiting for Cranestar to join them. He sat down furthest from Swiftstar.

Swanpaw could feel his muscles growing stiff with unease as his Clan settled. WindClan were watching them with open hostility.

"Must you bring a nursing queen to the Gathering, Cranestar?" Swiftstar commented casually. "It makes it look like you don't have enough warriors."

Cranestar curled his lip, saying nothing.

A cream she-cat with brown dapples stood with an impatient twitch of her spotted ears. "ThunderClan will begin."

The huge dark gray tom sitting next to her, gave a deep, rumbling growl.  _That's Smokestar,_ Swanpaw thought immediately.  _ShadowClan's leader._

"Oldest leaders speak first, Doestar." Smokestar said.

"Fox-dung to that." Cranestar muttered, sitting at Doestar's other side.

"We should respect the order. Swiftstar, go ahead." A dark brown tom with white muzzle mewed calmly. Swanpaw assumed it was Eaglestar, SkyClan's leader.

"Keep your pelts on." Swiftstar said. "I'll speak last."

Doestar looked smugly pleased as she faced the gathered cats.

"Puffing out like StarClan likes her best. Typical ThunderClan." Eeltail growled behind Swanpaw.

"Tansypaw, Daisypaw and Marigoldpaw have begun their apprenticeship." Doestar announced. Only her Clan clamored. "Squirrelear has given birth to Burrkit and Webkit, but prey  _is_  scarce. Our elders say leaf-bare has never come this fierce or this early. No kit should have to suffer hunger." For a brief moment, her pale eyes met Cranestar's and a meaningful flash passed between them.

Doestar sat back down with finality, and Cranestar stood up.

"No kit should go hungry," He echoed Doestar, voice seeping with bitterness. "Yet Dacekit starved earlier this moon. He walks StarClan with his littermates."

A hush fell over the glade and Swanpaw watched with amazement as a few cats from other Clans bent their heads to Buzzardface in condolence.

"That doesn't mean you can steal our land!" A gray WindClan tom screeched without warning.

"Prey-stealers!" A soft-furred white she-cat joined him.

Angry murmurs rippled among the Clans. The medicine cats cast fearful glances at the sky where the moon shone indifferently.

"Cranestar?" Eaglestar's head swiveled accusingly towards the pale gray leader. "SkyClan has shared their hunting grounds across the river with you to keep peace."

"Peace?" Cranestar paced. His frost-tipped fur was bristling, glittering like the countless stars in silverpelt. His claws gripped the ice-layered stone and below him, RiverClan rallied. Swanpaw looked around at his Clan-mates and his heart sunk when he realized what they must look like to the other Clans. Their flanks were sunken and their pelts were no longer elegant and glossy. There was a manic gleam in their eyes, and they prowled hungrily, like ravenous wolves.

 _No,_  Swanpaw shook his head.  _We're RiverClan, just as graceful and unstoppable as the force of water._ But he felt a spark of doubt. The river  _had_  been stopped, buried deep below ice.

"Peace?" Cranestar snarled, disbelieving. "Can I use peace to cure Mallowmist, who's so malnourished he can't see!?"

The Clans found themselves in stunned quiet once again.

"Can I  _feed_  peace to Rainkit, who's so weak she can't even stand!?"

"No." Buzzardface's growl was stark against the silence.

"Then there can be no peace while we starve. You should have known this already."

"That's RiverClan's problem." A sleek black ShadowClan she-cat hissed. "We have kits too."

"We have more mouths to feed!" Cranestar voice rose, shrill and insistent. "Our river is frozen and most of our wetlands are barren clearings for the twoleg's Green-leaf pelt-dens." He thrust his head menacingly toward the other leaders, snarling. "Our elders won't make it through leaf-bare. So we will  _make_  it your problem until there is a solution! Call us fox-hearted, but you leave us no choice. We must take what we need by force."

"StarClan would not approve of this." Swiftstar stood up, shaking with fury... or perhaps fear. "They gave each Clan the territory best suited to them. The Clans have always found a way to deal with leaf-bare without stealing each other's territory. Return our land!"

"Or what?" Cranestar hissed.

"Or you will never see Lizardpaw again."

Snarls of outrage burst from RiverClan.

"But Lizardpaw is dead!" Swanpaw blurted before he could stop himself, ice-blue eyes wide with shock. "I saw it myself!"

WindClan's deputy, Grassbreeze, flicked her tail to beckon a gray-and-white she-cat with strange curling fur.  _It must be their medicine cat, Sheepleap._  She carried a strand of heather and laid it down at the paws of Buzzardface.

The queen leaned down to scent it, and flinched as if reeling from a blow. "It's fresh." She gasped.

Cold spread through Swanpaw's body, gripping every nerve and muscle and seeming to freeze his blood, as if he were slowly turning to ice.

 _"Congratulations,"_ He heard Hailstorm's soft voice speak within his head. _"You're not a murderer after all."_

Buzzardface's powerful shoulders rippled. "Give him back to me, you worthless mange-pelts!" She screeched, nearly leaping at Sheepleap before a brindled WindClan she-warrior leaped in her way.

"If you agree to return our territory," Swiftstar continued. "He will live, but stay with us until we trust your word."

RiverClan warriors looked at one another in disbelief. In the anxious pause that followed, Eaglestar stepped forward.

"SkyClan has done it's part to help you." He addressed Cranestar. "You may keep hunting two tree-lengths from our shore." His amber eyes glimmered. "Keep to the boundary, don't test my patience, and we will not be involved in any quarrel. Settle this yourselves."

Cranestar slowly folded his haunches and sat down. "Thank you, Eaglestar."

"You mustn't let him!" Swiftstar pleaded. Eaglestar shook his broad head, and leaped down from the Great Rock.

"Great StarClan, what a mess." Smokestar grunted. "We don't want anything to do with this either, especially during leaf-bare. ShadowClan, let's go!"

"Mouse-hearts!" Grassbreeze spat. "You'd both let him get away with this for fear."

Smokestar's long hackles rose. "It's your fear-stench we smell here, rabbit-chaser."

"You'll come begging to us for help," Swiftstar rasped. "When he targets you next."

"HAH!" Smokestar's laugh was a deep, humorless bark. "Don't mistake my warriors for your soft-bellied lot. You should have rolled over when Cranestar gave you the chance." He wrinkled his nose with disgust, then turned to Cranestar with a dark amber glare. "Unlike WindClan, we will rip the throats of those who trespass, and line our nests with their pelts."

Cranestar met his gaze evenly. "As you say, Smokestar."

"Doestar?" Swiftstar searched the molly's face with desperation.

"This threatens us all!"

She tilted her head. "I think it threatens  _you_."

"Enough!" Grassbreeze gave a long, angry hiss. "If no Clan will help us the so be it! Let StarClan condemn them."

Doestar gave an offended sniff. Without another word she leaped down and led her Clan towards their forest.

"Well?" Grassbreeze said to RiverClan. "Think carefully. Lizardpaw's life depends on your decision."

Cranestar lashed his tail furiously, flashing Mistclaw with uncertain glances.

"Decide!" Grassbreeze demanded.

"No." Buzzardface thrust forward, her jagged claws impaling the snow and her chest heaving as she fought for restraint. "Cranestar, we need that territory. Rainkit..." Her voice trembled and her eyes misted with grief. "Lizardpaw wouldn't thank you for saving him. He is a warrior at heart, and would die fighting for his Clanmates." She turned to the brindled she-cat with a baleful glare. "I will come for the warrior that takes him from me. I swear by StarClan I will tear their insides out one by one and watch the life drain slowly from their eyes."

The brindled warrior met her challenge with a stubborn tilt of her chin.

Mistclaw leaned into Cranestar's ear, and the leader nodded.

"Swiftstar, we will meet you at sunhigh to see Lizardpaw ourselves. Then we'll discuss the deal."

"Fine." Grassbreeze mewed bitterly. "Remember this is a pledge under the full moon, StarClan is our witness."

Buzzardface closed her eyes, whether from relief or pain, Swanpaw didn't know. He watched, speechless, as the two Clans separated. Only the wind to broke the grim silence, blowing in a steady gust that bent the stiff, frozen limbs of the great oaks.

Suddenly, a pitiful noise rose above the wind. It was a high, desperate cry filled with grief and terror.

"Linnetpaw!" The brindled WindClan warrior yelled, her fear-scent tainting the air. She exploded into a frantic race towards the moorland, but her long-legged Clanmates were faster. They fled past her, and as their tails disappeared over the ridge of the cliffside hilltop, Swanpaw heard the wail again.

"Bramblingpaw is dead!"


	9. Chapter 9

_Lizardpaw's_ _world spun as he fought_  for breath. He had to keep running. He could feel Spottedflight's paws pounding closer and closer behind him.

The gorge wasn't far now, even through the wind he could hear the rumble of the waterfall growing louder.

He didn't dare look back. If he could only make it there...

_Then what?_

He'd never seen the gorge before, apprentices were strictly forbidden from going near it. Turtlesnap told stories about WindClan warriors who would leap across it, taunting RiverClan patrols. He hoped for once that she was telling the truth.

He could do it. He  _had_  to do it.

Distant yowling cut off his thoughts. Lizardpaw looked up and saw the blurry shape of cats streaming through the snow from the direction of Fourtrees. They veered off toward him, led by none other than Harrierwing. The wind picked up and the patrol disappeared behind the heavy whirl of snow.

"You're dead fish-fur." Spotteflight growled, his breath right on Lizardpaw's tail. Lizardpaw felt a barb of pain as the warrior reached out and clawed his flank.

_I can still make it!_

Lizardpaw sped faster, muscles straining painfully.

"Stop!" Harrierwing shouted, and he heard Spottedflight skid to a halt.  _I did it!_  Through the blizzard he could see a gap in the snow where steam poured into the air. Suddenly the ground tilted and his paws slid; a layer of mist had frozen over the snow. He tumbled down a steep rocky hill, and in blind panic gripped a boulder and came to a stop. The ground leveled out into a narrow pathway between the rocky slope and the gorge.

"Lizardpaw!" Harrierwing's voice was shrill. Was she worried about him? Lizardpaw stopped to look. The WindClan cats were carefully sliding down after him.

_I can do it..._

He rose shakily, and paused at the boundary where the spray and snow churned, so dense he couldn't see below... or the other side. He just had to trust himself to make it across. There was no other way.

"Don't move!" Harrierwing said. The cats had stopped a few tail-lengths before him. "Get away from the edge." She pleaded urgently. "Please."

"Let him fall," Spottedflight hissed. A she-cat with downy white pelt was holding a pawful of snow against his bleeding eye. "That dirty fish-breath nearly killed Bramblingpaw."

"What?" Harrierwing's face twisted with hurt and confusion.

"I didn't mean to," Lizardpaw said softly, thorns catching in his throat. "He's fine now I... sorry."

Harrierwing's fur was bristling, hurt giving way to fury.  _I saved him!_  He wanted to say, but he knew it wouldn't matter. He back to the gorge and crouched, tensing for the leap.

_It's now or never. I can do it!_

"No!" Harrerwing lurched forward at the same time that he did.

The wind howled as he leaned into the jump and a blast of air cleared the mist and snow. The far side of the gorge was only a few fox-lengths away, tantalizingly narrow yet completely out of his reach. Lizardpaw knew at that moment that he would never make it across. He twisted, scrabbling for a hold on the ledge but it was too late. A single pang of terror pierced through his heart as he tipped over the edge. He felt like he was falling into the gaping jaws of the moor itself. The falls roared, plunging straight down into a darkness deeper than he could've ever imagined. The river at the bottom was a channel of black water rushing between two fringes of ice in angry, choppy waves.

"Ahhh!" He shrieked as fangs clasped his shoulder and his fall came to a stop with a tug that tore muscle. Harrierwing held on fiercely.

"It's okay," She said through a mouthful of fur, tone gentler than he'd ever heard. "I've got you."

Lizardpaw trembled, mind racing with memories of the fall that had left him stranded in WindClan in the first place. He should have never come near the gorge. Harrierwing tried to pull him but he was too heavy. Both cats were slowly sliding down the edge.

"Harrierwing let go!" Her Clanmates wailed.

"I won't let go I promise." She said, but her eyes held a sadness. Lizardpaw felt a strange calm overtake him. He realized he was going to fall, and there was nothing she could do.

Slowly he slipped from her grasp.

He held her gaze as she got farther and farther away, until she disappeared behind a wall of mist.

For a sickening moment he felt like he'd fall forever. In a flash desperation he tucked his legs close to his body, like he'd seen kingfishers do, and braced himself to dive head-first. The wind whistled into his ears and then he slammed into the water.

He blacked out immediately.

He didn't expect to wake soon after. His found himself flailing beneath the black, roiling water. His first instinct was to scream, but his RiverClan training kicked in and he clamped his jaws shut. He tumbled and spun, letting himself go limp in the waves until his body began floating to the surface.

Mustering every bit of strength he had left, he kicked weakly towards the waving light of the moon.

He surfaced with a strangled cough, heaving and retching the water he'd swallowed. A frozen lump of twigs swirled in the water next to him. He clutched it and it helped him float his upper body above the water.

He realized that the swift current had dragged him downriver. He looked up and saw nothing but mist and shadow. Harrierwing would think he was dead.

Soon his body was racked with violent shivers and his whiskers weighed down with frozen droplets. As the sheer walls around him leveled into marshes, the water became a slow-moving icy slush, and the river's fringes of ice were now wide planks. He floated in the narrow space between the two until the ice met in the middle.

He was lucky that the flow of the river pushed him up onto the ice instead of dragging him underneath. He lay gasping wetly on the surface, then sunk his claws to drag himself to the pebbly shore before slumping motionless to the ground.

He felt a tiny joy like a single sparkling dewdrop clinging to his pelt.  _I'm home._  Thick beds of reeds surrounded him, their dry stems poking through the ice. Stunted willow trees stooped low and whispered in the breeze. The early leaf-fall had turned their leaves into frozen, glittering tendrils before they had the chance to fall.

He felt dazed and feeble. How could he be alive? Maybe it was a dream. Maybe he'd died in the gorge after all. No... he was alive, but not for long. He heard a distant caterwaul, the shrieks and screeches of battle.

_I couldn't warn them._

He thought with deep misery. Maybe StarClan was real this was their cruel way to remind him of his failure.

The sounds of fighting went on only for a brief moment, then ceased.

Lizardpaw felt a dreadful stillness settling over him, like his limbs were falling asleep, and instinctively fought it. He heard the shuffle of pawsteps and the tones his Clanmates' voices. He imagined them weaving among the reed stalks and rush tussocks.

"We should hunt them down before they get back to their camp."

Lizardpaw recognized Buzzadface's rough mew, and he ached with happiness. They won? Perhaps StarClan was telling him they didn't need him after all.

"Don't, please." Dewbrook whispered. "Think of what could do to Lizardpaw for revenge." His father's voice was thick with concern. "We need to negotiate with them."

" _They_  forced our paw." Mudstream growled. "No Clan has dared to defy StarClan's truce since the time of the first leaders. We're lucky Swanpaw has a good nose or we would have lost."

"We will get him back tomorrow." Buzzardface promised. "They'll wish they never touched a hair on his pelt."

As their pawsteps drew away Lizardpaw felt a pale twinge of sorrow.

_I'm right here!_

He opened his jaws and tried to call out but only managed a soft wheezing sound. He tried to drag himself after them, but he'd stopped shivering and his body felt too heavy to move.

_Don't leave me..._

He was so close, so very close. His limbs felt numb and his heart pumped weakly against his ribs. His breath barely stirred his whiskers.

Lizardpaw closed his eyes slowly.

He was just so tired.

 _"Liz.., paw, Lizardpaw."_ There was a voice calling out to him, soft and far-off. If StarClan was real after all, they were reaching for him.  _"I'm so sorry. Please wake up."_  The voice whispered. A glow of warmth settled next to him, and he burrowed into it.

 _"I'm sorry, I'm sorry."_  It said, over and over.

 _For what?_  Lizardpaw thought, and flickered out.


End file.
